When Less is More

Today I am packing for my fifth retreat with the Transforming Community. 

The person who packed for her first retreat June 2023 was a very different person than the person who is packing today.

In June, my backpack weighed a TON. 

My neck got sore walking through the airports.

My backpack was too big to fit under the seat. I lost a lot of leg room and had a hard time managing around crowds of people on the plane and in the airport.

I packed:

• My laptop (my retreat last June was a week out from VBS so any idle time would be put to good use, plus I planned to take notes at the retreat).
• Pounds of snacks in plastic re-usable containers (trail mix, peanut butter pretzels, 2 cut apples, peanut butter to-go cases, peanut M&M's, fruit snacks - just in case I got hungry!)
• A variety of pens, pencils, and highlighters (for all my reading and note-taking).
• 5-books I wanted to read but still hadn't gotten the chance (my flight was going to be super-productive!)
• My NASB full-size Bible as well as two journals (one for reflection and one for notes).
• A lightweight jacket and knit cap (in case it rained)
• Sunglasses and ballcap (in case our plane landed somewhere unexpected and we had to walk a ways from the plane to the airport)
• Plus a handful of small traveling items like airpods and chargers.

Trust me, my backpack was a force to be reckoned with!

On my first retreat I discovered this was going to be a "tech-free" space. No laptops. That's okay, I was tired anyway. I also learned that I was not a travel snacker so all that food I packed was not touched. While I tried to read some books, I didn't get very far.

Each consecutive retreat, I've packed less-and-less. 

The last retreat I even left my laptop at home!

As I am packing my backpack today, I am omitting my books (!), leaving behind my laptop (!!), skipping the snacks (!!!), and even leaving behind my Bible (!!!!). 

I'm coming into this retreat without the extra baggage and without the need to prepare for all the "what ifs" of life. (what if I get hungry?, what if it rains?, what if its sunny?, what if the airplane is cold? what if I have free time? what if I'm bored? what if I want to look up a word in Greek/Hebrew?)

Instead, I am simply coming.

No load on my back.

No gruesome weight on my shoulders.

I plan, instead, to not be productive - well, at least not the kind of productive that is measured by our standards today. The biggest item I'm carrying: a pillow.

In many ways, this slow peeling away of items from my backpack is a metaphor to the spiritual releasing that has been going on in my this last year. The weight of my backpack as I head to the airport is a physical reminder of the work the Spirit has been doing in my life and the peace and freedom that has come from laying things aside and just being me - without the worries, the expectations, or the fears.

In Mark chapter 6, Jesus is sending out the 12 disciples for the first time and gives them a list of instructions to follow:

These were his instructions: "Take nothing for the journey except a staff- no bread, no bag, no money in your belts. Wear sandals but not an extra shirt..."

Jesus' instructions are the epitome of trust! The disciples knew God would be their provider and would guide them. Trusting God (or others in that case!) is no small feat. Intentionally packing less is my step toward trusting God who declares, "do not worry." It is also my declaration that my identity does not come from all those items (expectations, jobs, accomplishments, failures, etc...) I carry on my back. Instead, I am choosing to come to this retreat as Simply Connie.

As I depart for my journey, I leave with less weight and a (nearly!) empty backpack (closer to Jesus' disciples) in the hope that I will have more "space" to receive from God and come home with my heart, soul, spirit
and mind full. 

Let Retreat #5 begin!