Practicing the Muscle of Thankfulness

Happy November!

For years I have tried to participate in the Facebook challenge to type something I am thankful for every day in the month of November. Typically in October, to save me time, I make a list of 30 things, people, experiences that have brought me joy or to whom I am thankful. Then I can easily, without even thinking, check off my list each day and add each item to my profile page.

This year, as I've been on a journey of slowing down and embodying my life, I have taken the "Be Thankful" booklet I created last year and paired it with a version of the spiritual practice of Examen.

Examen. The spiritual practice of Examen directs us to come to the end of our day and examen the ways we have partnered with Jesus, missed an opportunity to partner with Jesus, or did our own thing entirely. It is a chance to observe our day, giving ourselves permission to confess those things we did or didn't do. This practice is for the purpose of becoming more aware and attentive for God's activity with us and provides us a chance to realign ourselves in Christ with God before heading to bed. Each day, Examen helps us become a little more like Jesus. (This is a great way to prepare for sleep.)

This year, my challenge to myself (and others) is to put these two practices together in a way that helps us become more aware of the presence of God and the many gifts of our life to which we can be thankful.

Here's how this works: At the end of our day, examen our day, thinking back on what has occurred to which we can be thankful. I may have run into a friend I haven't seen, had an encounter with a stranger, tasted a delicious dish, smelled a fragrant flower, heard a unique piece of music, or seen a stunning bright orange leaf! The possibilities are endless! The challenge is to be aware of those things that catch our senses and quicken our hearts. What are the things that make us stop in the middle of our routine? What brings us joy?

For example, I could easily add my daughter Anna's name to my Facebook Challenge. Or...I can wait and watch for when we experience life together - meeting up for dinner, playing a game together, or sharing a croissant. Now writing Anna's name (and what we did together) in my book on that day is an embodied thankfulness, and not just a mental activity.

As we take up this challenge to daily examen our lives, we will discover that we become more awake during the day to the things, people, and experiences that can actually fill us with joy and gratitude - if we have eyes to see them.

A Note When Darkness Surrounds Us. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, the apostle Paul writes, "...give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus..." Paul is not saying to give thanks for our circumstances, but in the midst of them. It is a human experience to have days in which we are at a loss for even one reason to be grateful. In the middle of loss (of a job, a loved one, identity), cancer treatment, or negative health diagnosis, for example, little gifts of God's goodness are still all around us, they just may be harder to see in the midst of our darkness. If we can learn to look for them (they may be small!) and be grateful, we will experience an enfolding of the peace of God and joy in the Spirit we didn't think was possible in our situation. Being grateful is food for our souls and an assault against the voices that attempt to diminish our belovedness and silence us into spaces of isolation and despair. 

May this month's thankfulness challenge open our eyes to the many, many blessings in our lives as we become more aware of the Spirit's daily interactions with us and become people of thankfulness. 

Peace.

"Give thanks to the Lord for he is good. His love endures forever."

P.S. The booklet is simply a place for us to keep a journal of our thankfulness. I have a few directions and scriptures to ponder, but you can do this challenge in your own journal without needing my particular booklet!

When Less is More

Today I am packing for my fifth retreat with the Transforming Community. 

The person who packed for her first retreat June 2023 was a very different person than the person who is packing today.

In June, my backpack weighed a TON. 

My neck got sore walking through the airports.

My backpack was too big to fit under the seat. I lost a lot of leg room and had a hard time managing around crowds of people on the plane and in the airport.

I packed:

• My laptop (my retreat last June was a week out from VBS so any idle time would be put to good use, plus I planned to take notes at the retreat).
• Pounds of snacks in plastic re-usable containers (trail mix, peanut butter pretzels, 2 cut apples, peanut butter to-go cases, peanut M&M's, fruit snacks - just in case I got hungry!)
• A variety of pens, pencils, and highlighters (for all my reading and note-taking).
• 5-books I wanted to read but still hadn't gotten the chance (my flight was going to be super-productive!)
• My NASB full-size Bible as well as two journals (one for reflection and one for notes).
• A lightweight jacket and knit cap (in case it rained)
• Sunglasses and ballcap (in case our plane landed somewhere unexpected and we had to walk a ways from the plane to the airport)
• Plus a handful of small traveling items like airpods and chargers.

Trust me, my backpack was a force to be reckoned with!

On my first retreat I discovered this was going to be a "tech-free" space. No laptops. That's okay, I was tired anyway. I also learned that I was not a travel snacker so all that food I packed was not touched. While I tried to read some books, I didn't get very far.

Each consecutive retreat, I've packed less-and-less. 

The last retreat I even left my laptop at home!

As I am packing my backpack today, I am omitting my books (!), leaving behind my laptop (!!), skipping the snacks (!!!), and even leaving behind my Bible (!!!!). 

I'm coming into this retreat without the extra baggage and without the need to prepare for all the "what ifs" of life. (what if I get hungry?, what if it rains?, what if its sunny?, what if the airplane is cold? what if I have free time? what if I'm bored? what if I want to look up a word in Greek/Hebrew?)

Instead, I am simply coming.

No load on my back.

No gruesome weight on my shoulders.

I plan, instead, to not be productive - well, at least not the kind of productive that is measured by our standards today. The biggest item I'm carrying: a pillow.

In many ways, this slow peeling away of items from my backpack is a metaphor to the spiritual releasing that has been going on in my this last year. The weight of my backpack as I head to the airport is a physical reminder of the work the Spirit has been doing in my life and the peace and freedom that has come from laying things aside and just being me - without the worries, the expectations, or the fears.

In Mark chapter 6, Jesus is sending out the 12 disciples for the first time and gives them a list of instructions to follow:

These were his instructions: "Take nothing for the journey except a staff- no bread, no bag, no money in your belts. Wear sandals but not an extra shirt..."

Jesus' instructions are the epitome of trust! The disciples knew God would be their provider and would guide them. Trusting God (or others in that case!) is no small feat. Intentionally packing less is my step toward trusting God who declares, "do not worry." It is also my declaration that my identity does not come from all those items (expectations, jobs, accomplishments, failures, etc...) I carry on my back. Instead, I am choosing to come to this retreat as Simply Connie.

As I depart for my journey, I leave with less weight and a (nearly!) empty backpack (closer to Jesus' disciples) in the hope that I will have more "space" to receive from God and come home with my heart, soul, spirit
and mind full. 

Let Retreat #5 begin!

To "Affinity" and Beyond

Tonight I began a 7-week course called, "Living Undivided." 

I've let the topic of race sit mostly untouched for a year and am feeling the need to press into it again. 

Choosing to discuss emotional, personal, and potentially conflict-inducing topics is not something my personality type enjoys, but is, I believe, something all followers of Jesus are called to do. Contrary to popular opinion, ignoring topics because they may be volatile or not addressing an obvious difference of perspective/experience does not build healthy communities nor generate good will among us. 

I've also learned that (for me), simply reading a book about 'racism in America' is not going to challenge me in the way I am desiring - I need people-interaction. I need conversation. I need to sit and talk with an Imago Dei - the image of God expressed in a person who has a different background and experience than me. 

The "easy" thing: read a book.

The "hard" thing: talk with a person different than me.

Hence: I signed up for this class hoping to get into some uncomfortable conversations. 

One topic on my mind recently is the struggle of ethnic segregation on Sunday mornings. Decades ago, Dr. Martin Luther King described 11 am on Sunday morning as, "one of the most segregated hours..." I dare say not much has changed. There may be a few more outliers here and there, but in general, we're just as segregated as we were 60-years ago. Over the last 9-months, Bret and I have attended white church, black church, Armenian church, Mennonite church, Lao church, Hispanic church, and Ukraine church. Though we enjoyed many of these experiences, I feel like we're missing something... 

I've been thinking a lot about church these days; reflecting on what 'works' and what doesn't, what needs to be thrown out and what needs to be saved, what needs revamping and what needs to be burnt up. The topic of ethnicity and how our ethnicity connects and divides us has been stirring in my heart. As I began this class tonight, with church structure and culture on my brain, I was not surprised to have an experience to further my processing.

Over the course of the 7-weeks, participants will experience three types of groups:

1. Large Group - in this space, all participants share with the whole group about the topic at hand.

2. Small Groups - participants are strategically placed into 'mixed' groups with multiple ethnicities so that a variety of voices and perspectives can be heard.

3. Affinity Groups - participants gather into groups of like-minded/shared-experienced people. 

I noticed a huge difference in my experience between the Small and Affinity Group. In the Small Group, I didn't talk too much - I didn't want to over-talk and I was also worried I would say something that might be offensive and/or say something that might be hurtful. Though my intentions were not to hurt anyone, I am well aware of my hidden bias but don't know when it will show itself. 

My remedy =  not to talk! 

Then no one gets hurt and I've done nothing, "wrong." WRONG! I'm not going to get any better at engaging other people from other cultures if I don't put my foot in my mouth from time-to-time and learn from my mistakes...which is the very purpose of this class: to provide a safe space to learn to interact with people from different backgrounds.

In the Affinity Group, I had a much easier time sharing. I felt relaxed and comfortable...which brought my thoughts back to our segregated churches.

Do we create these segregated spaces because of our weariness of the "Small Group" experience during our week? Constantly watching our words and being careful of feelings indeed gets tiring. It's no wonder when we create spaces to be with the 'Family of God' that we're going to want to be part of a group that allows us to come out from behind our walls, relax and be together without having to explain or give a back-story. 

But do we experience change in Affinity Groups?

I joined a Fit Body Bootcamp six weeks ago and the coach continues to challenge us to add more weight. "The results are in the burn," he's always saying. If we want to get results, we can't passively choose what is easy, but instead we must push ourselves into discomfort - sometimes even pain.

Ruth Haley Barton from my Transforming Community talks extensively about being aware of where we feel resistance. Oftentimes, God is in those places of resistance desiring to open a door to some part of us that has been closed off to God's presence and is in need of transformation. 

To put all these thoughts together then:

I came face-to-face with the reality that though Affinity Groups are easier, we will not be transformed in those spaces. 

Though going to church with like-minded, similar experienced people will feel like family, the Kingdom of God offers a different challenge, a challenge to be transformed into the image of God. This happens in our interactions and relationships with people different than us. 

My thoughts progress to Acts and Galatians and consider the Early Church's struggle of incorporating Gentiles into their communities. Being a Jewish-Christian was hard enough, but having to relate to a Gentile-Christian was an entirely different level. The addition of Galatian-Christians forced the early Christians to consider what part of their faith was embedded in their culture and what was truly the Gospel. Should there be, "Jewish-Christians" and "Gentile-Christians?" Roman-Christians and "Corinthian-Christians?" Are there commonalities that link the groups together? Shaking out faith and culture is a challenge for all of us and needs to be something we are constantly re-evaluating to be sure we're not limiting the Gospel to our own cultural distinctions.

Interesting that this, "Living Undivided" class incorporates both types of groups, Small Group and Affinity Group, recognizing we do have a need to connect with people similar to us - as a place to take a breath and encourage each other - but offering the space where the real work is done - in the Small Group with a mix of people from different places and different experiences learning to listen, to talk, and to share life together. 

Affinity groups are great and fill a need, but growth and transformation happens in "affinity and beyond..."

or at least, that's what I took home as my lesson tonight. :)

What are you giving up for Lent?

In just a few days, the season of Lent will begin. 

I'm wondering if you have considered what it is that you'll be giving up for the next 40 days? 

The season of Lent is a time when Christians remember Jesus' 40-days in the wilderness after his baptism. During these 40-days, Jesus fasted - he did not eat - he gave up basic needs to focus solely on his Father. He was "driven into the wilderness" where, one could argue, he also fasted from people, schedules, and demands of his life. Here in the wilderness, Jesus and the Father had focused time together. Jesus' wilderness was not a punishment. The Father had just told Jesus, "This is my son, whom I love, with him I am well pleased." The wilderness was not a place of punishment or abandonment, but really a place of centeredness, identity and mission. The wilderness was also a place of temptation and a place where Jesus' motives and desires were tested. 

The 40-days of Lent begin this Wednesday and take us up to Easter Sunday. (Fun side-note: if you count the days you'll discover we have more than 40 days between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday. Why? Early Christians held Sunday as a day of celebration - the day Jesus rose from the dead. So even as they fasted and prayed during the season leading up to the resurrection, they did not fast on Sunday. Sunday was celebration day!) 

One of the practices (traditions) of the Lenten season is to give up something. Some people choose to lay aside something simple like a food that they will not eat. Some people will consider habits that need to be better held in check (like drinking addictive drinks like coffee and/or alcohol) and will determine to set these aside or a 40-day detox. (Btw, if you do this, I'd recommend continuing to fast these even on your "Sunday" so your body does not get confused.) Some people choose to add something to their lives to better their relationship with God. Another idea, and what I would challenge us to do as we consider what to give up for Lent, is to focus on our relationship with God and question what we can adjust in our lifestyles to better posture ourselves to experience God.

May we consider: 

• What are those things that get in the way of our relationship with God? 
• What is something (an object, a relationship, a routine, a habit) that we turn to instead of turning toward God? 
• What is a comforting distraction we choose over attending to our souls? 
• What are those things that are holding us captive? 

I'm learning more and more that there is not much in our world that is "neutral." A good practice, relationship or routine can easily become a prison if we don't make space for self-examination and evaluation. 

Oftentimes, we desire God, but our distracted selves lean toward what is known and safe instead of following the Spirit's prompting to go into uncharted territory of quiet contemplation. 

Many of these objects, habits, routines, or relationships can be even be good, or at least began good, but may have deteriorated or spread into something unhealthy. One purpose of setting aside an object, habit, routine or relationship for a season (or adding limits to them) is to keep the Lordship of Christ above anything else that attempts to assume the title of Lord in our lives. Laying these aside for a season disarms their power and cuts their control from our life. If laying them aside is easy, then we can be reassured we are not under the grip of its power and that King Jesus has authority in our lives. More often, however, we'll feel the sting of separation and maybe even the temptation to blow off this "silly religious practice." The separation is painful for the first few days, to be sure, but the freedom we can experience is remarkable. With our space less cluttered and our souls less distracted, we find more time and focus to listen for the God's direction, behold God's beauty, or sit quietly in God's presence. During our 40-days when we feel tempted to pick back up our objects, habits, routines or relationships, may we instead choose to confess our weakness and need for our Savior, asking Jesus to once again rule in all aspects of our life.

(Note: if you choose to set aside a relationship, don't just cut someone off, but let the person know what is happening and why you are choosing to set aside or put limits on your relationship for the next 40-days. Adding healthy limits on your relationship is a way of making space for God to be part of that relationship.) 

Our Distractions are Limitless

I encourage you to be attentive to your habits, routines, and relationships these next few days as we head into Lent. Be aware of when you feel God's lead and how/where/when you choose something "easier" like watching TV, scrolling YouTube, or listening to Podcasts, instead of spending time with God. The amount of information with which we are daily assaulted clouds our ability to hear God speak. Even the simplest limit to our social media usage can make a large impact on our internal sense of God's presence and peace with us.

May God reveal to us an area of our lives that we can lay aside for His glory of these next 40-days.

Peace,

Connie

2024 Prayer & Fasting

This Monday, January 8th begins another season of praying and fasting. 

Join me and many others around the Fresno/Clovis area as we spend intentional time praying for our neighborhoods, communities, schools, workplaces and so much more.

I have been participating in this prayer rhythm for over ten years now. The first year I participated alone because my church was new to the idea of prayer and fasting. The second year I participated, I wanted to invite my church to join me but knew 21 days was a big commitment. So I challenged them to join me for "7-Days of Prayer & Fasting." They did! The next year I added another week: "14-Days" and then the following year the church engaged in all 21-Days. What a delight to know this church still continues to participate in praying as a community to begin their year. Whatever your stage in prayer - whether you've never really prayed before or you've been praying for years - we are all invited and encouraged to pray for our cities over the next 21 days. 

Prayer Guide

In partnering with people in their growth in prayer, I noticed sometimes it's hard to know how to pray or what to pray. With that in mind, I created a prayer guide for the purpose of scaffolding the learning stages of prayer as well as creating synergy and focus on a particular item/situation in which to pray. If you would like to follow along with a Prayer Guide that I wrote, you are welcome to download it. I created two different formats. If you have the capacity to print a booklet, use this link to download and print. (print both sides, flip short edge)

If you would like a more simple Word document (with a larger font size), use this link to download and print the 2024 Prayer Guide.

Prayer Nights

During each night of the 21 Days of Prayer & Fasting a church in the Fresno/Clovis area will open up their space for an evening of corporate prayer. If you would like to join others in praying for our city, use this link to see where prayer is happening on each of the 21 days. 

Fasting Brochure

If you're newer to fasting and want to find out more information about why and how to fast, use this link to download a brochure about fasting. Pastor Bob Willis from NorthPark wrote this brochure ten years ago and I have modified it through the years.

Community of Faith

Regardless of where you attend church, I believe we are part of a Story bigger than one person or even one church. It is the collective whole of all of us coming together to form the Body of Christ in our cities. You and I are welcomed and invited to participate in this season of prayer and fasting as a way to engage in something bigger than ourselves, be reminded that we are not alone in our faith and love of Jesus, and pray for God's mercy and grace on behalf of the cities in which we live.

Let me know if you have any questions.

May God make Himself known to you in this season of prayer, confession, repentance and healing. Let it be!

Peace, 

Connie