The Practice of Gratefulness

I am an over-thinker. 

I'm the type of person who can sit in silence for hours considering a situation or topic and still not be able to make a decision. I have to consider every angle and every option before decision-making and even after all that consideration, may not be able to make a decision for fear of it being the 'wrong' decision. I've learned to put deadlines on my thinking and manage my over-processing tendencies, but I've also discovered a dark-side to my over-thinking. 

Especially these days when I tend to be alone more than ever before, I recognize the negative voices that begin to plant words and thoughts into my thinking. Without people around me to bounce my thoughts off, these negative ideas get mixed into my own thoughts and soon enough, I'm a mess of confusion and despair forgetting my belovedness while also beginning to see the world through glasses tainted with negativity and hopelessness.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who gets into this cycle!

One of the practices I have learned to help me combat this negative cycle is the practice of gratefulness. I know, I know, that sounds like a cheesy, "churchy" answer, but it really, truly works! 

Practicing gratitude opposes the voices that tells us, "no one cares," or "your life is horrible," or whatever other lie we're hearing. It also combats our woe-is-me outlook, reminding us of the many gifts and blessings bestowed to us each day. After two weeks of looking for reasons to be grateful, our brains will actually form new pathways and begin thinking differently! Our outlook on life will not begin despairingly, but will begin open to a day of possibilities, not expecting doom and gloom, but anticipating reminders of blessing and love notes of hope.

I recognize we are often in seasons when being thankful is hard. 

We go through times when the most we can do is just get out-of-bed. When we have experienced the loss of a loved one, are undergoing chemotherapy, or have lost our job, for example, we can quickly be pulled into a vacuum of despair. Our goal in these times is often survival. During these seasons we believe being thankful is a frivolous amenity gifted to others, but not to me. 

Telling someone in these places, "be grateful," feels like dousing a cut with lemon juice - it hurts! Please hear me say, I understand being in this place. In many ways, I am living in this season right now, which is why I need gratitude. 

Being grateful does not deny my current situation - it doesn't heal it or make it go away. It does, however, adjust my outlook, inspire my hope, and help me get through my difficult situation. 

Daily Examen

I like to pair my practice of gratitude with a practice called, "Daily Examen." The Daily Examen is often done in the evening and is a practice of considering our day, looking for places where we grew as people, places where we can now recognize God's activity but acknowledged we missed the invitation, and/or situations where we were reminded of God's presence and participation in our lives. This practice of reflecting on our day, how we missed it, where we blew it, where God showed up, and how I made decisions out of wholeness instead of gloom is a healing and healthy practice.

November Challenge

During the month of November, I'm challenging the people in my small group (and you as well!) to begin your day with the intention to keep your eyes opened (both our physical eyes and spiritual eyes) to something, someone, or a situation in which we can be thankful. 

I have done Thankfulness Journals before but I have to admit I was a bit of a cheater. I'd get busy for a week and then sit down and write out seven things/people I'm grateful for quickly to get 'caught up.'

Instead of brainstorming our reasons to be thankful, let's, instead, be daily looking for them to make themselves known to us. 

For example, I could be thankful for my daughter, Anna. I am very thankful for her so she would be a natural name to write on my page. How much more grateful, however, would it be if Anna happened to stop by just to say hi. Then, that evening, during my Daily Examen, my gratefulness wells up within me as I write Anna down as my person in which to be thankful. Not just someone I love, but someone who intersected my life today - my gift for the day.

See the difference?

There's a bit more trust to this challenge - trust that we will see a reason in which to be thankful AND trust that God, the giver of good gifts, will bring those gifts into our lives. This is also a partnership between us and God in that, I believe, God surrounds us with daily reminders of his love for us, it's often us who are too busy or blind to see the gifts around us.

Looking for reasons to be thankful is a powerful way to develop healthy, life-giving thinking habits.

Be Thankful Booklets

I created these little booklets for my small group, but you can use a journal or whatever paper you have available, to get into the practice of being grateful. Begin your day asking God to bring to your attention to a reason in which to be grateful. Sit with God in the evening asking God to remind you and then write down the name, situation, encounter on your paper. If you're a creative-type, perhaps you can experiment with other mediums to journal your experience. 

Let us combat our "stinking-thinking" (as my mom used to say) by opening ourselves to seeing reasons to be thankful for each day.

Have fun this November!

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever."