Faith, Hope and Love

"But now abide faith, hope and love, these three;

but the greatest of these is love."  1 Corinthians 13:13

Three years ago today my Nana (grandmother) passed away.  After a hard battle with Pancreatic Cancer, her frail body was placed into the hands of Jesus.  My world was turned upside-down.  What could I continue to believe?  Who was this God who says he is all-powerful and yet cannot or will not heal?  What is the point of all this and why did this happen to someone as amazing as her?  Scripture records that God will bring a long-life to those who follow His commands- wrong.  Scripture records that God will guard us and keep us - wrong again.  So many of the passages I had set to memory were frantically erased and I was left in a void of sorrow, loneliness and anger.

The first week was a blurr.  We had also lost our house two days earlier and were trying to move everything asap before the locks were changed.  I often look back at that January and wonder how I managed to survive.  I was in the middle of credential school- but everything came to a halt.  I could not operate.

I began credential school again in February and would cry during the 30 minute drive to school and then cry 30 minutes home.  In between crying and praying I had three thoughts along my journey of grief (btw, I'm still in that journey.  If you're in that journey, give yourself time and grace.) 

1.  What would my Nana believe?  I have a huge respect for my Nana and her faith in God.  She taught and lived the Bible every opportunity she could. 

"I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who lives

but Christ lives in me.  And the life which I now

live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loves me,

and delivered himself up for me." 

What strikes me is the term, "faith in the Son of God."  I'm no scholar, but I did a little study and found out that in the original Greek, this small article "in" is more accurately translated "of."  So I live by faith of the Son of God.  We are to live as part of Jesus; operating under his faith.  We are hidden with Christ!  I live out of Jesus' faith, not my own.  Which is a good thing since at this point in my life, my faith was at an all-time low.  My Nana had great faith and even though I felt my faith was shaky, if I trusted the faith of Jesus to hold me through I would be okay.  Taking that leap of faith to believe even when I do not feel it, is what the Christian faith is all about.

2.  What would life be like without hope?  No matter the depth of my sorrow, I know deep inside that I will see my Nana again.  This is not a wishy-washy kind of hopin' and prayin', but a good strong knowing, almost more of an expectancy.  Hope is another word our English language has ruined.  Hope is so casual and almost fake.  A better definition would be to anticipate with confidence!  I am determined to hope in my Savior.

3.  If you've ever lost a loved one, you know one of the most difficult realizations is when your brain automatically kicks your verbs into past tense.  I purposely tried to keep my stories about my Nana in the present tense- but that got a bit weird.  Eventually, I had to succumb to the fact that she really was gone.  One thing I thought about was that love is an attribute of God.  Which means, love is just as alive today as it was yesterday and even better...tomorrow.  Love does not stop!  It would be an injustice to love to say, "my Nana loved me" because I guarantee she still loves me!  Just because she is not here right now to express that love, does not mean the love does not exist!  Love is eternal.  Love never ends.

My Nana Loves Me!

On this anniversary, although I am sad, I am full of hope, overflowing with faith and held up by an everlasting love my Nana and I share in the bond of Christ Jesus our Lord.